HI, I'M DR. MARK HEYMAN

Episode #25: Introducing Your Love Interest to T1D

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In this episode…

Telling someone you just started dating that you have T1D can be scary!

When do you tell someone you’re dating that you have T1D? Great question!

People tend to overthink everything in new relationships. When to introduce your new partner to T1D can definitely be one of those things. You may worry they’ll see you differently when they find out, or worse, the news you have T1D will extinguish any sparks they feel in the relationship.

The fact you have T1D probably won’t bother most people you’re dating. And if telling someone you have T1D makes them see you differently, the relationship probably has bigger issues.

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In this episode of The Diabetes Psychologist podcast, Genna talks about how, in the past, she has been self-conscious about telling the men she has dated that she has T1D. She’s worried if she tells them about her challenges with T1D, she’ll be undesirable. Also, she doesn’t want to burden them with her condition.

She just started dating someone and is looking for help with how to talk honestly about T1D with her new beau. In this coaching session, we talk about strategies Genna can use to let her new boyfriend know that T1D is part of her life but not something that defines her.

Here’s an overview of the strategies we talked about:

Don’t keep T1D a secret

Genna has kept T1D a secret in past relationships, and it was a lot of work. As you are getting to know each other in a new relationship, T1D is going to come up. You bring diabetes with you wherever you go, and it’s going to be a part of your relationships, whether you hide it or not. You want the person to dating to get to know the whole you, even the parts of you that you may not think are all that attractive.

Bring T1D Up Naturally

You don’t want to hide T1D, but you also don’t want to make it that big of a deal. Instead of sitting the person down and having a big diabetes talk, manage diabetes just as you would if this person wasn’t around. This will spark conversation about your life with T1D without bringing too much attention to it. Introducing T1D naturally lets you tell the person you are dating about your day-to-day struggles (and wins!) with diabetes in a relaxed way that doesn’t force you to expose yourself all at once.

You may dodge a bullet

If the person you are dating does not react positively when you let them know you have T1D, it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. If they react this way when you tell them you have T1D, think of how they’ll respond to other things. This probably is not someone with whom you want to be in a relationship. While it may sting at first, a less than positive reaction to T1D is important information and a sign you may have dodged an even bigger bullet later on.